How to Choose the Right Attorney for Your Family Law Case

Did you know that evidence in 2023 showed that 66% of divorce cases in Colorado were pro se (represented themselves without attorneys)?

Colorado in particular makes it simple for people facing a dissolution of marriage, legal separation or allocation of parental responsibilities matter to represent themselves. Many counties will have workshops or days of the week when pro se parties can gain information on the filing process and some programs even allow folks to come in and get legal advice from attorneys volunteering with the program. I am thinking specifically about the Metro Volunteer Lawyer program, which is a wonderful cause that I used to volunteer with as a paralegal.

But sometimes things get complicated. Maybe you and your partner have entered into a territory that is tumultuous, or you've come to a stalemate with regard to parenting time. Maybe your partner owns their own business that requires a complicated valuation. Maybe you and your partner are simply too busy to complete the process on your own or the process is too overwhelming.

This is where attorneys can be helpful.

With traditional representation, an attorney should be cognizant of the Court's deadlines; current applicable case law; Colorado statutes, Rules for evidence procedure and ethics; and be familiar with the counties in which they practice. Your attorney should be able to give you sound advice and diligently represent your best interests. They should also keep you apprised of any movement or requirements in your own case.

But where do you start? Ok, a Google search is a common answer, but how do you narrow down which attorney is best for you?

Well, I've worked with and for a lot of attorneys. I've worked with and witnessed bad attorneys, and I have worked with and witnessed good attorneys. From my experience, here are some red flags for weeding out the bad ones:

1. They don't listen to you. It doesn't matter at all if your attorney was the highest ranked on your Google search. If you get in there with a priority of keeping your house and making sure that your kids remain in a certain school district, that should be the main goal throughout the case. If you have made your attorney aware that these are your priorities and they keep trying to convince you that you should sell the house and go after your spouse's retirement instead -- you've just paid a lot of money for your attorney to get the divorce they want for you. If you don't know what your priorities are and are looking for guidance, that is one thing, but if you have voiced these to your attorney and they seem to be evaporating before hitting the attorney's ears, consider someone else.

   
   

2. They don't seem educated. In order to become an attorney, you have to go through a rigorous process. Elle Woods didn't have to miss all the sorority parties to study for the L.S.A.T.s for nothing! However, a good attorney stays in touch with recent case law, modification or redacting of statutes, and any updates to the Rules for Court. You will be able to tell in an interview with an attorney who is educated because they will quote specifics during your consultation. Instead of just talking about what a piece of work your ex is, they will point you to precise and relevant text that can make a difference in your case. To take it a step further, you can also review any disciplinary actions for the attorney here.

   
   

3. The cost is too low. Attorneys are expensive -- there are no two ways about it. I also think it is important to point out that with attorneys, you will typically get what you pay for. An experienced and well-respected attorney will have a higher rate. They will also likely request a higher retainer. While this can be concerning, often there is a reason for a higher hourly rate or retainer request (and if there isn't and it is too high -- well you just saved yourself a lot of money!). But if you are speaking to an attorney that is promising you a low, low deal for your divorce, RUN! This can mean that they are inexperienced, uneducated or willing to set their prices low just to get people in the door. Sometimes attorneys will charge a lower retainer just so that they can get hired, knowing what a pain it is to switch attorneys in the middle of litigation. The attorneys who have higher hourly rates or retainer amounts often do not need to make careers of your family law case. They do not need to drum up business or wrangle in new clients all the time. They are more likely to know what they are doing and will give your case the attention it deserves. This is not always the case, of course. Make sure to pay special attention to your Fee Agreement and ask lots of questions about their invoicing and charge structure. If they seem to blow past these questions or get uncomfortable when you bring them up at the start, you can bet your dollar they will become an issue further along in your case.

   
   

4. They have bad reviews. Reviews have their pros and cons, certainly. As anyone familiar with the internet can tell you, the anonymity and incredulous postings by unqualified individuals can certainly skew perceptions. However, law firms take great stock in their online reviews because it directly impacts their SEO online, which effects their bottom line. As such, clients are often encouraged to leave a review once their case has completed. I can attest that this is such a big deal that many firms will incentivize their staff to obtain these reviews. I caution you, however, to pay mind to these reviews and their source. If the poster does not specify anything with the firm other than "They're great! Five stars!" -- be cautious. Because of the aforementioned ability for firms to manipulate the system, this review could be a former client, or it could be the receptionist's cousin Carla who wants to help put an extra $10 on their friend's paystub. If they talk about being an opposing party of a case, for example "this attorney represented my ex-wife, and they took me for everything I got!" This could simply be someone who felt slighted during the process and likely has nothing to do with the attorney you are looking into. But if you come across a review that was clearly by a former client, pay attention to what they say. If they felt well taken care of, they will be gushing with gratitude. If they felt ignored, in the dark with the experience or could not get ahold of their attorney, they likely felt passionate enough about the negative ordeal to warn others. Another way to check for reviews of an attorney you are thinking of hiring is to check on Glassdoor for reviews from former support staff. These can give you a wealth of inside information as to how attorneys treat their staff, which can tell you a lot about how they will treat you as their client.

   
   

5. They guarantee outcomes. No one, and I mean absolutely NO ONE can tell you with certainty how litigation will go in a case. I have seen cases where folks come in with their hands on each other's throats and come to equitable agreements. I have seen cases where spouses come in bringing each other coffee that end up litigating some seemingly innocuous issue for months on end. I have seen cases that were meant to modify child support turn on a dime to modifying parenting time simply because the judicial officer wanted to explore another option. I have seen "open and shut" cases that went awry in one way or another. Because Judges and Magistrates are people and have the capacity for errors and biases just as the rest of us, there is truly no way to positively tell you that they know how a Court will rule in their case. If your prospective attorney starts telling you your future as if it is written in stone, they are fooling you and themselves.

   
   

6. They talk smack about opposing party or opposing counsel. There's a difference between standing firm on your client's positions and rights and just plain ole being a bully. For your attorney to be sympathetic to what you are going through is one thing, but if they start to tell you what a piece of work your ex is or how truly incompetent opposing party is, particularly if nothing has gone "wrong" in the case, be wary. As with much in life, when someone points their finger at someone, they usually have four pointing back at themselves. Harnessing unnecessary negative energy in a case will only build contention and keep the case in a standstill for progress.

   
   

7. They tell you they "know" Judges or Magistrates personally. Much like name-dropping in Hollywood, frankly, no one cares. If you spend enough time in a small community such as Colorado family law for example, you are bound to rub elbows with nearly every judicial officer and their clerks. Networking events and continuing legal education workshops are for more than just attorneys to attend. Not to mention, anyone who has practiced law for more than a few years can familiarize themselves with Judge and Magistrates in their courtroom. If an attorney starts to list characteristics of judicial officers that they have become aware of such as they are a stickler for the Rules or they always rule from the bench and the like -- that is helpful. It also shows that your attorney pays attention and has been around for a while. But if the attorney tries to tell you they can sway a judicial officer because they play golf together every Full Moon, this is problematic and unethical.

   
   

8. They use phrases like "grind 'em up and spit 'em out" or "father's rights firm". The words we use for these kinds of attorneys in the biz are "grinders." This is because they will simply use clients and their payments as an assembly line. Clients go in, clients go out without regard to how their lives (or their children's lives) are impacted after they receive their final invoice. These attorneys will mask trying to litigate every scenario or file countless motions as standing up for you. When really, they are simply trying to hike up your costs. Going to a Court appearance, be it a Status Conference or hearing, is expensive. Not only are you paying for your attorney's time to be in the courtroom physically, but you are also paying for their travel to the courtroom, compile and review exhibits, talk to witnesses, and prep you for the hearing. Especially if no efforts have been made to mediate the issue (even informally), this attorney is simply using you as a vehicle to get more money out of you. Also, firms that center themselves around the notion of "father's rights" are offering division out the gate. Colorado is an equitable state in terms of asset and debt division and their only criteria for parenting time and decision-making is based on the statute for Best Interests of the Child. As such, for a firm to promise to "stick it to the system" for upholding a woman's rights over a man's, is simply using this as an advertising tactic.

   
   

9. They take too long to get back to you. From a financial and stress standpoint, of course, the less time an attorney spends on your case the better. But if you are struggling or your case has a lot of ins and outs, you don't always want to be waiting days for the answer to your question. Any good attorney will have a turnaround time of one business day typically before getting back to you. Even the attorney simply responding to an email with "I'm in Court the next few days and I will get back to you on Wednesday" is better than being left on read. If you find yourself leaving your attorney multiple voicemails or sending multiple emails over several days without hearing so much as a whistle from them, you will want to rethink that relationship.

   
   

10. They do not have associates or support staff. As a former paralegal I may be biased, but support staff and associate attorneys are crucial cornerstones for any law firm. There are several attorneys who are able to conduct their entire firm on their own, though I have no idea how. A good associate or paralegal is often available when the attorney is not. They should have as much knowledge about your case as the attorney does and should be able to give you any updates you may need. If it is a paralegal, they cannot give you legal advice, but they can be sure to get that from the attorney and get back to you. These folks are also at lower hourly rates than your attorney, so you don't have to pay top dollar for administrative tasks like setting up conferences with the Court, compiling financial disclosures or contacting your favorite mediator to schedule mediation.